Let me preface this stupid recipe. Dough and I fought. Boyfriend came into the kitchen and asked what kind of shit was in my hair. Dough covered everything…Including handles to drawers and faucet in my kitchen. It was an intense argument. It originally called for 4 balls of dough. The dough laughed in my face when I tried 4, so I slammed it all together and made one huge pocket that I will cut into 4 for us. Yes, I carved “WIN” into the dough, it’s barely visible after baking. Eff this thing!! Apologies, I don’t know the carbs since I modified a bit, but the original was 8 net carbs per pocket if you made 4, and it included feta (I did not put in feta). So here. If you’re up for a challenge:


  • 1 1/2 cups shredded mozzarella

  • 3/4 cup almond flour

  • 5 tbsp cream cheese

  • 2 tsp xanthan gum

  • 1 packet instant yeast

  • 3 eggs (2 for dough,1 for egg wash)

  • Salt, additional seasoning to taste (I used pizza seasoning)

Doin it and doin it…And the fight:

  1. Preheat oven to 400

  2. In mixer or large bowl, add almond flour, xanthan gum, yeast and seasoning

  3. Mix dry ingredients throughly then add two eggs

  4. In separate bowl, microwave mozzarella and cream cheese in 30 second intervals until melted. Only took me a minute.

  5. Once melted, I added to flour and egg mixture using my dough hook. I just kept it on while I got my cookie sheet and parchment out. I then kept turning off my stand mixer and continued to scrape sides before turning it back on.

  6. If mixture is too stiff, place it back in the microwave for 30 -45 seconds until pliable, I didn’t have to though.

  7. With dough hook or wet hands, knead mixture for 5-10 minutes until fully combined. If you’re going to play with this shit with your hands like I did, I recommend spraying your hands with Pam or using water on your hands. I did both, used all the ammo I could since I was now deep into this argument. I’m no quitter though.

  8. Threw the blob on sprayed parchment paper and then sprayed the top of it and added another piece of paper and rolled it out.

  9. Filled with choice of ingredients (salami and mozzarella) and took half of parchment with half the dough and folded it over the other half. It was easier to slide it over this way with sprayed parchment.

  10. Placed on new parchment and brushed with egg wash on both sides and baked for 20-25 minutes until dough was golden.

  11. Took out and then spread melted butter with italian seasoning on it.

  12. Sprinkled with parmesan. Ate my victory.

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